


Catnip

by ceywoozle



Series: One Word Bottomjohn Prompts [90]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: All Dialogue, Honestly John, M/M, john's a big baby, more crackish fics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-18
Updated: 2016-02-18
Packaged: 2018-05-21 13:02:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6052585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ceywoozle/pseuds/ceywoozle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John and his war wounds.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Catnip

“Ow.”

“Stop being such a child, John.”

_“Ow.”_

“For heaven’s sake. Do you want me to do this or not?”

“I want you to not give the bloody cat catnip.”

“How was I supposed to know it would react like that?”

“It says it on the bloody package, you wanker!”

“It’s a cat toy! Who reads packaging on cat toys!”

“Clearly not Sherlock bloody Holmes. _Ow!”_

“Oh for—”

“Just give me the bloody cotton ball. What the hell did you put on here anyway?”

“Alcohol, obviously.”

“For god’s sake, you couldn’t have used bloody savlon or something?”

“Oh I’m sorry, next time I’ll just kiss it better.”

“Next time you’re getting bloody cut off and you’re not kissing anything.”

 _“Cut off?_ You can’t cut me off for a scratch.”

“Oh you think that.”

“I know that. You’d get too desperate.”

 _“Me? I’m_ the one who’s desperate? Right then Mr Sherlock-oh-god-John-I-can’t-live-without-you-Holmes.”

“Yes, you Mr John-oh-god-yes-Sherlock-fuck-me-harder-Sherlock-harder-harder- _harder-_ Watson.”

“I do not—!”

“Oh yes you bloody do. Right after you make that noise and then all your brain functions suddenly stop. I always suspected it but it’s good to have the proof.”

“My brain functions do not stop!”

“Clearly.”

“They don’t!”

“Right. Let’s prove it.”

“What?”

“Right here. I’ll shag you into the floor and you can tell me what we were talking about after.”

“I am one hundred percent certain that’s not a legitimate experiment.”

“Yes but you want to do it anyway.”

“That’s beside the point and you still haven’t bandaged me yet.”

“Oh honestly John. You’ve been through a war, been beaten, shot, knifed, kidnapped, and drugged. And now you’re going to complain because of a two inch scratch on the back of your hand.”

“It _hurts.”_

“You’re a baby.”

“Yeah, well, you said you’d kiss it better.”

“Fine.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“And you promised me a shag.”

“Only if you make that noise I love and beg me.”

“Fine.”

“Good boy.”


End file.
